What people don't see

     As usual I had a post planned for today but changed my mind because I think this is more important. Many of us are here for different reasons; anxiety, health issues or addiction as examples. Most of these can not be seen by another human being without tests or knowing what to look for. We get the odd looks, the casual, "Get over its," the, "Oh I forgot you had that." as if it were something trivial.

     Nothing hurts me more or makes me feel alone, like a loved or respected person in my life not understanding what is going on in mine. Or worse yet, being outright hostile towards the idea, that something may in fact may be wrong with me, just because they don't understand it. I am lucky and don't have too many of those, although I know some of you do. Husbands, wives, family and friends who say "Just get over it, you are doing it to yourself." or "It's not that bad, you are a hypochondriac!" Or "You've had a thousand chances to walk away from your problem but you never will, you are hopeless."

     Many times that makes us afraid to share with those closest to us because we are afraid to drive away the last little support we have in desperate times.

     So today I wanted you to know something. I believe you. I believe you are hurting, and struggling. I am so glad that no matter how long it has been, you haven't given up. I understand that silent, lonely pain seems amplified. I understand, because I have been there with you. As someone who has walked a similar road to yours, let me say you are doing great. It has taken such power to get where you are now! It has taken struggle after exhausting struggle, so raise your head up! Do not feel ashamed! You are not alone and many people realize how hurt and strong you are at the same time.

     Knowing that you are going through this, breaks my heart. How do you explain to someone that just convincing yourself to brush your teeth if you are depressed is a fight? How do you explain if you have fibromyalgia, hashimotos or POTS or something else that is not easily seen, nor readily understood by even doctors, how isolated you feel and the pain of just moving or anxiety of going out? It is close to impossible. That is why we have support pages and blogs and each other.

     So today I don't want you to feel ashamed. Doesn't matter if the problem is physical OR psychological. Hold your head up because you are a survivor! If other people are unsupportive or hostile towards your problems, maybe you need to re-evaluate their position in your life. I would rather go through this alone than pull the dead screaming weight of a jerk behind me. We can barely lift ourselves at this point, carrying an ungrateful other is not an option.

      So to you all of my beautiful warriors, today I pray for peace and strength and blessings. I pray your self worth grows and grows and is not dependent on another persons views of you. I pray you know you are not alone and how much I appreciate you even though we have never met.

     You exist! You are worthy and have every right to be happy and free of derision or scorn. We may never meet but I wanted you to know someone DOES understand, the best he can anyway, and there is someone rooting for you every day of the week! You are not alone my friends and I think you are beautiful!

     God bless you all,

     Frank