Hello all you beautiful warriors! How are you today? Tired,
stressed, strong or encouraged? Today I feel a bit down, it happens with
me sometimes, ok a lot of the times, lol. But this is what I have been
thinking about for a few days now.
A few people have asked me to
start a blog or write a book, (I have three books but all fiction). The
truth is, I don't know if I ever will do a blog or a book on the
subject of anxiety, but if I do this will be one of the first pages on
either.
Today I want to talk about the most important person in
your life......you. Right away I know a hundred voices are going to cry
"NO! My children, my spouse, my significant other are more important! I
am not selfish like that! That's kind of a bad thing to think!"
Please hear me out, I agree with that sentiment to a point, yes they are
important, none of us are narcissists, none of us are selfish, none of
us uncaring, but at times you must become the more important.
We
are vessels, glasses that should be filled, and when they are we can
pour out our energy, love, reassurance and caring on our children,
spouses, lovers and those that need help. But when we are empty because
we use that energy up in just surviving, we have nothing to share and
must become takers of what little energy we can get elsewhere, and we
are often hurt and dismayed when others can not give us enough. An empty
glass pours no water and until we can fill ourselves with that energy
again we do NOT have enough to share with others. So to make those
people the most important in your life, you must make you important now
or you are no good to anybody, least of all yourself.
I am not
rubbing that into anyone's noses, hell we ALL know that and feel
inconsequential, or worse yet, a burden to our loved ones already. But
we need to acknowledge that or we will use it as an excuse. "Oh I can't
use my energy to go out today, I have to make sure my kids have their
lunches, are out of the house on time. MY wife is counting on me to do
this. etc.etc.etc." But it's an excuse not to start the real hard fight
of getting better. Not surviving, you've got that down pat by now. You
know how to smile and hide the pain, you know how to lie and say, "I'm
alright." but if we are here and if we have had this problem for awhile
now, it's obviously not working to get us better, it's just getting us
by. And keeping us from being what we truly need to be, and I know many
of you, so I will say what we WANT to be...givers not takers to those we
care about.
That is why I need you to understand how important
it is that you focus on you and start this brutal campaign to free
yourselves from the lies we all believe, "I'm dying, I can't, It's
impossible." That is straight BullShyte, excuse my language. If any of
that were true, not one of us would be here, that's why I call you
warriors, because the simple fact that you are around to read this means
you know how to fight and win.
So I want you to promise me,
today, starting now, you will become that important person to yourself.
Don't expect others to do it, don't even expect them to understand if
they haven't gone through this. IF you need to, sit down with your
family or whoever and explain it to them. Listen I need to focus on
myself for a bit, so If I seem a bit distant don't be mad, I am doing
this because I love you so very much and want to be a better friend,
wife, father, etc. And if they still don't understand or want to help or
give you a hard time, you may need to reevaluate why they are in your
life. The fight is hard enough without extra weight holding you down.
Say it to yourself, I am important, I do matter, I am beautiful.
Because my friends every letter of that is true and I mean it from the
bottom of my heart. Until you make yourself and this struggle a priority
you will never be the person you are meant to be, the beautiful human
you could be.
So lets start right from the beginning, you are
the most important person for now, so that you can be the wonderful well
of energy you are meant to be. You can do this, it's time to get
serious, it's a long and lonely fight, but I promise you can do it, I
know that, I've seen that from your posts, you are a warrior and a
warrior has to fight even when he or she is tired.
So to start
off, I want to ask you three simple things you can do to start the
process, to get rid of, or do things you know will make you feel better.
For me I hate to say this but after 5 months I went back to smoking, which adds to palps, so I am going to stop that again.
Second, I as a hermit, usually don't get out much, but I actually made a
new friend and had her over for diner this week. It was fun to hear
laughter in my apartment again. smile emoticon
And third, I am continuing my anxiety meds, diet and no drinking policy as I've had for the last five months.
I am sorry to ramble and thank you for letting me post here, I don't
claim to be a smart man or a wise man, I barely made it through high
school and never went to college.
But all my life, I have known
that helping others is a major key to our own mental, spiritual and yes
even physical health. So until we get to that place, we will never be
the people God or ourselves intended us to be, and you are too special
to me, to know you are hurting and that you CAN be so much more,
including happy. Don't believe the lies brothers and sisters, you are
too good for that, and thanks for letting me ramble once again.
